So my co-worker (now forever nicknamed Groom) had his wedding ceremony two nights after his Ring Ceremony. The invitation said that there would be a departure of the Barat, which apparently means the wedding party, from the residence to the celebration hall at about 7:30. So we knew not to even attempt to arrive before 9pm. Really, why do they even put times on the invitation?

Another co-worker (nicknamed Deadpan because he is pretty much always joking with a straight face and I can only tell about half the time) picked me up. I waited outside the gate. And if you think I get stared at in regular clothes… Yeah. Not having a mobile phone yet gives me all sorts of opportunities to stand on display. Anyway, we drove back to his place to wait for his wife who was getting ready. Having a wedding on a work night (but at least a Friday) means that everyone has to get all prettied up after work. For me, that doesn’t mean much, but for the average woman who grooms themselves far better than I, it’s a good thing weddings never start on time.

As we waited in the car, a beggar girl tapped on my window insistently. I just kept looking ahead. Deadpan eventually walked out intending to chase her off when he realized she was tapping because my scarf was caught in the car door (and was dragging a bit in the street.) I opened the door to pull my scarf back in, gave her a wave and he gave her 10 rupees to go buy chocolate (which she actually did). She came back to say bye.

We discovered somewhere on the crowded streets of Delhi that we were right behind Buddy’s car (what are the chances) and so when we got completely lost, it was all together at least. Deadpan said we did it on purpose, so I could see more of the sites of Delhi, you know, like the ITO (Income Tax Office) building.

After some U-turning, we eventually arrived in what looked to be a wedding neighborhood. There were lots of lights and a dude on a white horse, but it wasn’t our dude, so we kept walking. Then we found it. The wedding was in a much bigger, fancier hall than the ring ceremony. A lot more people were present and they were dressed more formally. I think I was a bit underdressed here, but not too much so. Hopefully, people were impressed that the blond girl was in Indian-style clothes at all that they didn’t notice the insufficient bling.

Poofy Pink Pants!
(No, really, this is a style. Google ‘punjabi salwar kameez’ if you want to see.)

So despite that it was pushing 10pm, there was still no sign of the bride or groom. Vinny (my co-worker who gives-a it to me straight and makes-a the calls and does-a the deals) got there a bit later. He said he had trouble finding the right wedding. “I looked at four grooms on four horses, but none of them were right,” he explained. “Just not my night.”

(Aside: Grooms on white horses, arriving at their wedding? I’m as astonished as you are. India is a medieval European fairy tale. Who knew.)

At least the buffet was already open and appetizers abounded. Again, no meat and no alcohol. Though Deadpan’s wife pointed out that, when all the men in our company seem to disappear at once, you can bet there is a side party going on somewhere. (As we chatted while the men were away somewhere, I also discovered that theirs was a love marriage across cultures – S. India and N. India. Romantic!)

The many servers here were decidedly grumpy. If they weren’t staring daggers at you as they served you an appetizer, then they just went through the motions slowly, looking like they wished they were somewhere else. On one hand, this doesn’t particularly surprise me, but on the other hand, the servers at the ring ceremony (doing the same sort of things and up almost as late at night) were friendly enough. Incidentally, the dishes here… could have been cleaned better. But everything tasted well enough.

The Wedding Hall

There was a dance floor, but the only dancing I saw was happening outside when the Barat arrived. Groom was not actually on a horse, but he was in a carriage pulled by two white horses surrounded by a whole herd of people dancing and whooping and having a grand old time. Apparently, they had danced all the way from their place. Among them was LeadingMan and his wife, close friends of Groom. I peeked over the heads outside for a bit, then went back in. It took almost an hour for the groom and his party (literally) to finally make it indoors.

Finally, the bride came down the stairs with so much sparkle on her outfit, I could barely see her through the gleam. She walked very slowly. The groom arrives on a horse. The bride arrives “slowly.” When she reached her groom-to-be at the bottom of the stairs, some people held a flowery roof thing over their head and they walked together up the hall where two large chairs on a platform were awaiting them. Before they sat, they did cute things like put garlands on each other, and at one point, his party even lifted him up in the air, but it was hard to see much more through the crowd of relatives and photographers.

King and Queen
…er, I mean Groom and Bride

I had been wondering when to give my envelope gift as there was no gift table. Deadpan’s wife seemed surprised by the concept that guests would just leave expensive gifts lying about and said instead that I could hand it directly to the groom. We got in line to greet him and have our photo taken. Only a little awkwardly, I handed him my envelope there and that actually worked (especially since he could pass the pile off to his mother in between photo takes.)

They were setting up for the “actual” wedding (the final ceremony, anyway) in the back, which involves the bride and groom walking around a fire seven times. As it was well after 1am and the only promise of when this ceremony would happen was “before dawn” and that usually the only people left by that time were close family, we decided to go ahead and leave.

That didn’t keep people from asking me the next Monday if I stayed for the walking-around-the-fire thing. Of course, it would have been cool to see that, but… dude, that’s late and I’m not my own ride.

We got lost on the way back, too. During the late hours, the Delhi police set up all these barricades on the roads, knocking a four-lane road down to one, for the odd reason of “not letting criminals get away.” Are crime-committing folk often trying to escape Delhi quickly? It makes for post-midnight mini traffic jams. I think the Delhi government just wants to discourage people from ever knowing what it is like to drive down an empty road, ever. ‘Cause then they might move.